just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
