a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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