sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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