I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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