Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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