Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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