I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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