How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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