you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
