She said her name was "party"
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
