weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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