Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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