every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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