I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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