The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
50% drunk capacity currently
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
