drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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Well I just put wine in my tea
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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