I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
