I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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