Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
