Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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