What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
