Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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