I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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