No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
