help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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