you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
