i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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