That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
