So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
