PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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