whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize