Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
