she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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