Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
