Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
