What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I fill condoms, not promises.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
