sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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