Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize