He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
