Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
