found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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