____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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