You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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