she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just googled if crying burns calories
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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