yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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