Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
