i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
