you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize