you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
