wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
