He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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