Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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