at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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