Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
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