I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
