according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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