Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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