I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I need water and some morals
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
