if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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