is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
