Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
