Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
