Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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