lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
