Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
