Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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  (631) Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you. http://tfl.nu/pf1f
  Replies (14) Good night (1112) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so im guessing thats a no.....

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  (216): dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits." (814): so im guessing thats a no..... http://tfl.nu/rer4
  Replies (25) Good night (1131) Bad night (3489)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button

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  (512): so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button http://tfl.nu/bgvc
  Replies (11) Good night (2589) Bad night (1385) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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  (914): i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same http://tfl.nu/tcqj
  Replies (39) Good night (956) Bad night (5405) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave

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  (413): before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave http://tfl.nu/loh3
  Replies (26) Good night (8027) Bad night (559)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"

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  (715): You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts" http://tfl.nu/ong1
  Replies (12) Good night (1748) Bad night (4986) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

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  (310): only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man http://tfl.nu/g1rm
  Replies (12) Good night (3171) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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  (787): Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt http://tfl.nu/aoj7
  Replies (4) Good night (3272) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.

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  (413): Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor. http://tfl.nu/leq0
  Replies (12) Good night (4078) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.

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  (626): There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you. http://tfl.nu/ru1c
  Replies (4) Good night (3133) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong

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  (330): he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong http://tfl.nu/36h0
  Replies (3) Good night (859) Bad night (1630) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me

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  (347): Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me http://tfl.nu/axou
  Replies (9) Good night (746) Bad night (1593) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can

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  (412): attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can http://tfl.nu/zc74
  Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out

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  (213): If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out http://tfl.nu/pkwm
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?

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  (978): By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner? http://tfl.nu/55b6
  Replies (4) Good night (1313) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt

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