if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
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Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.