I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.