I just gift wrapped bread.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
